My Journey Of Self-Discovery and the Road to Self-Care


What a year it has been! Looking back at this time last year, I was burned out, worn down, overextended and completely exhausted. I was busy trying to find balance as a working mom and struggling to find my identity as a 20-something with big dreams. I was emotionally, physically, and spiritually spent, and I was ready for a fresh start.

As I made my 2015 resolutions, I had no idea what the New Year would bring and could not have planned for the journey of self-discovery I was about to embark on.

After a lot of positive self-talk, several heart-to-heart conversations and a pretty big career change, I can honestly say I’ve learned a lot about myself and where I want to be in life. Was it a smooth ride? No. Do I have all of the answers? No. But, I am a few steps closer to where I want to be and am continuing down the path of balance, fulfillment and peace.

Perhaps you’re sitting in the same place I was one year ago. If you feel like you’re stuck on the fast track to nowhere and craving change, take courage girlfriend. This is your year to take back control of your life!

As I look back at my transformation over the last year, there are four key lessons I learned that can help you get a head start on your own journey of self-discovery in 2016.

Make Self-Care Your Number One Priority

Stop putting yourself last. Don’t do it! It’s time to start putting your needs first.

“But what about the kids? Who will pack their lunches? And, what about the pile of laundry that’s taking over the bedroom? It’s not going to wash itself.”

I hear you! We have a lot of responsibilities we juggle every day. Trust me, I know what it’s like to put in a 60 hour work week and take care of business at home. With all the demands competing for our attention, it’s not easy to find time for ourselves. Hell, we’re lucky to find five minutes to eat our dinner in peace.

The truth is, we’re never going to find time for ourselves. We have to make time for ourselves. The only way to do that is to start putting our needs first. I realize this is counter intuitive to our maternal instincts, but if we’re going to be the best we can be for our family, we need to take care of ourselves first. When mom isn’t happy, nobody is happy!

Focus on Strengthening Relationships

Aside from our health, our relationships are the most valuable thing we possess in life. Never take your relationships for granted.

When I was at my lowest point, I knew there were people in my life that I could lean on for support. But, there were also some relationships in my life that needed a little TLC.

What relationships do you want to strengthen? Whether you want a better working relationship with a co-worker, want to make peace with your in-laws, strengthen your bond with your significant other or spend more time with your children, it all starts with you!

Make deposits into your relationships daily and make an effort to stay in touch with people whom you don’t regularly have the chance to connect with. When you’re on the road to self-discovery, you’re going to need people to lean on and you’ll probably meet some new connections along the way who may be able to help you get to where you want to be.

Don’t Be Afraid to Have Uncomfortable Conversations

As someone who doesn’t like to ruffle any feathers and avoids confrontation at all costs, this is one lesson that took me quite some time to learn. The funny part is, it kept manifesting itself in different ways along my journey of self-discovery. I guess God was testing me, and I wasn’t grasping the one lesson he wanted me to learn.

I can’t count how many times I was presented with opportunities to have crucial conversations that needed to be addressed, but cowered at the thought of engaging in any sort of “confrontation.”

I was afraid the conversations would have exposed my weaknesses or damaged the relationships I had with certain individuals. When in reality, those conversations would have actually opened the doors for healthy dialogue and strengthened my relationships.

It goes to show that you should confront your fears head on, because if you don’t they will always follow you until you overcome them. The fear of having uncomfortable conversations is often worse than the actual conversations themselves.

So, whether you want to talk to your boss about fostering a better work-life balance, need more support from your spouse in or need to establish better boundaries regarding your child’s behavior, all it takes is the courage to have a simple conversation.

Be Patient

Rome wasn’t built in a day, and you won’t conquer your resolutions overnight. Be patient with yourself and have faith that everything will work out. The most important thing to realize is that with each passing day, you’re growing into the person you’re meant to be. Remember, it’s not about the destination, but what we learn about ourselves along the way!

So, what do you say? Are you ready to take the pledge and embark on your own journey of self-discovery this year? What are some of your New Year’s resolutions, and how do you plan to accomplish them?


  1. laci says

    This post is like what I think k in my mind ! My word this year is ME cause I need to focus on me so the people I love will get the better me and I also recently posted about my last and how it made me such a better person and helped with my real self discovery. Yay !!!! Happy 2016

  2. says

    I’ve been putting off some doctor’s appointments and medical procedures because been busy dealing with healthcare issues others in the family are dealing with so understand how easy it can be to neglect your own self-care. It really is important to make sure you don’t let your own health care needs slide when work and family commitments seem to keep pushing things aside.

  3. says

    Self-care is such an easy habit to lose and a hard one to relearn – especially when you have a small child. I’ve had to redefine self-care for myself as: peeing when I need to and not waiting because I’m juggling child + mails + making dinner, and drinking water when I’m thirsty instead of getting to the end of the day and realizing I’ve had only a few sips. Someday I think it will be bigger things but right now remembering myself in these small instances goes a long, long way.

  4. says

    I love this so much. A few of these things I have started working on this year. I am looking forward to strengthening relationships over the next year. I have let many of my friendships slip to focus on school and being active mother. I need to work on a better balance.

  5. says

    This post was amazing. I’m sure other’s have felt this way, I know I have. Your advice is great, and I like how it focuses on nurturing relationships. Sometimes that does mean bringing up uncomfortable conversations. It’s tough but the end product is always more than likely positive. thanks for this wonderful post.

  6. beautifullymarkedrachel says

    Amazing! I was in the same spot the beginning of 2015… I was lost and just done. But throughout this year I discovered myself and it’s completely changed my life! It a hard road and you made amazing points that will really help me though this journey thank you!

    • says

      It’s hard for a lot of people (including me). I’m still working on putting my needs first. I’ve had to realize that my former idea of me-time just may not be realistic anymore. We have to make the most of the time we do have, even if it’s 15 minutes at a time.

  7. dadofdivas says

    Such a well written post with powerful thoughts and ideas. I love your last comment about patience. This is not my strong suit, but it is something that I am always working on!

    • says

      I like your philosophy! I think that by trying to do “more” we put extra stress on ourselves and get discouraged when we can’t keep up with high expectations. As long as we get up and focus on doing the best we can, that’s all that matters.


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